I'm giving up on you
by CallMeJoz
Summary: "At first she was my shining star there to guide me through the dark, but her light dimmed so much that I feel like I don't know her anymore. I hate to admit it but it's true and I'm starting to lose hope in us." It's a Lita/Paige one shot request for AllyKat91. It's not depressing I promise. Femslash/Fluff/Smut


**Hola! If you're new to my stories welcome to the clan. You can just go on reading this and enjoy yourself have fun, laugh, sneeze, whatever I don't care. However if you aren't new to my work then just bare with me for this story. It is very different from some of my other smut scenes. Yes there is smut in this one-shot, it wouldn't be a Joz story if there wasn't sex or some sort of fucked up theme to it. There is q valid reason as to how this all happened. Oh and this was a request from Allykat91, enjoy love and thanks for being patient while I wrote this. Kay see you at the bottom!**

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 **Saraya's POV**

It's probably three in the morning right now and she's downstairs in the den doing God knows what. I just got home after a two month long overseas tour earlier tonight. Ideally when I pictured coming home after traveling for so long I expected to be lying in bed next to her cuddling. But no not this time... It hardly ever is anymore at all really these days. It's been this way for a while now ever since I made my main roster debut last year. I mean we've only been together for roughly two years and some change but it only feels like a month to me. At first she was my shining star there to guide me through the dark, but her light dimmed so much that I feel like I don't know her anymore. I hate to admit it but it's true and I'm starting to lose hope in us. But I don't want to leave her because she is my first love and I don't want to have to move on. Of course she doesn't know that because I'm scared to be the first to say those three words in our relationship. It's only that way because she is significantly older than me and I'm scared she'll laugh at me because I'm young and don't exactly know what love is. But I know what I'm talking about when I say I'm head over heels for this woman. I know I'm not her first girlfriend and I'm okay with that, but at the same time it's a defect in our relationship. It's hard to explain because she was very brief with me about it. All this doesn't matter to me because I just want her to cuddle with me before I have to go back on the road in a few days.

So with that being said I got out of bed and put on my silk robe and went to go find her. She is very quiet and keeps to herself a lot and that's why she has her den. It's a plus because she is usually always in there so if I ever need to find her there's a good chance she's in there. When I got there the door was cracked so I softly pushed it open. She was in there like I suspected sitting in the couch practicing on the guitar I got her for our one year a while back. Yea she's the lead singer in her band.

"Amy?" I spoke softly getting her attention. "It's three in the morning can you please put the guitar down and come to bed?" I pleaded trying not to sound too desperate or clingy. Sad part is I am desperate for her attention and I want to be clingy I just don't want her to think I'm immature.

"Honey you know I have to practice for our show in a couple days. The boys and I haven't really gotten a chance to practice together in a while. I just don't want to get up there and suck." She answered not looking at me but down at I guess her lyrics or something.

"I know but that's all you ever do when I'm home. I'm sure one night of no practice won't hurt. Is it too much to ask for just one night alone with my girlfriend? We hardly get to see each other and when we do I feel like you don't ever want to spend time with me. I don't know what you think it is I do on the road but I promise you that you're the last person who touched me and the only one who kisses my lips these days." Sometimes I like to think that the reason she does this is because she thinks that I'm cheating on her when I'm on the road. But I'm not my head is so consumed with thoughts of her that I don't have time to look at other women. Besides I always get approached by people who are around my age and I prefer my women aged like a fine wine. And it just so happens that Amy is the only wine I have a thirst for. Anyway that got her to put down her guitar and walk over to me. She then placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"I know Raya I'm sorry but you know how much the boys and the band mean to me. I don't mean to shut you out like that but I gotta do something so you have somewhere to go home to when you come off the road." This also is another thing that upsets me to some degree. We've been living together for almost a year now and I moved in with her down here in Georgia. I didn't mind because I would move anywhere as long as she was there. It's just the fact that she overworks herself so she can pay our bills. I've offered on multiple occasions to help take care of some of the bills being I make more than enough for the both of us with money to spare. But every time it was the same answer, _no baby it's my house so I can pay them_ myself. It's a sweet gesture but I just want us to be equals, I want her to depend on me for something for a change. The only time that ever happens is when I tell her I'm going to handle dinner for the night.

"You know I make more than enough for the both of us. If you need help I can he-" She silenced me by pressing her lips to mine. This time it was a lot more passionate and all it did was remind my why I love her so much.

"No I told you I have it all under control. Don't you worry your pretty little face you'll get wrinkles. Come on let's get to bed." She spoke interlacing her hand with mine and lead me back upstairs to our bedroom. "Here let me." I heard before I felt her hands grab the shoulders of my robe and help me take it off.

"Thanks."

"No problem." From there I climbed in bed and she followed behind me. After waiting two months for this moment she pulled me close and wrapped me up in her arms. This is all I could ask of her right now, just quality Amy and Saraya time. No interruptions, no petty arguments, no bad vibes, just us bonding like we should. "Raya?"

"Yea?"

"I know I don't ever say it much but it gets really lonely around here without you. I missed you so much babe." She murmured. Upon hearing her say that pushed every doubt I've had about our relationship out the door. It's very rare that I ever hear her express her feelings out loud to me, so to hear her say that made me realize that maybe she does love me. Gah I want to tell her I'm in love with her but I'm so scared of what she'll say. I will one day...

"I know I missed you too. It's hard being on the road traveling city to city and not being able to snuggle up with you. I missed my organic carrot so much." I cooed cuddling in as close as I could to her.

"Really?! You're starting with that again?" She groaned. She absolutely hates when I call her my organic carrot. I gave her that name because she is a vegan and won't eat anything that isn't organic. And the carrot part is because she use to be a redhead, put the two together and you get organic carrot. I can't use it as often as I did because she dyed her hair back to brown a while back so I couldn't use it. I don't care though because it's not going to stop me from saying it.

"Yes I am because it's cute, you're cute, and there isn't anything you can say or do to make me stop calling you that."

"Oh really? I wouldn't be so sure if I were you."

"Well I know you won't do anything about it."

"And how do you know?" I don't know why but I all of a suddenly want to test our relationship. I can't hold it in any longer I love this woman and I want her to know it. I don't fully expect her to say it back just yet, I just hope she doesn't leave me.

"We've been together for two years and four months tomorrow. That was a lot of time for me to annoy the hell out of you, yet you still put up with my crazy nature. I know you like the back of my hand and vice versa, so I'm sure one little nickname won't make you want to leave me." I shrugged

"Since when did you become Mrs. Know-it-all?"

"Well I like to believe that when two people are meant for each other they won't let the small stuff tear them apart. Besides without me you would be lost with no direction. I like to think of myself as your knight in shining armor your hot, young, and very good looking savior who is always there to make sure you remember to take care of yourself." I spoke effortlessly. It's true though there have been some times where she forgot to eat or hasn't left the house in days. So every now and then I'll remind her to do these things.

"Maybe you're right." She sighed. I just pressed my lips to hers in a passionate manner. The only thing that was different with this kiss is I began to snake my hands up her shirt a little bit. I can't help myself it's been two months since we last had sex and I need her now or I think I'll die. It's so hard being on the road and resisting all the temptations that come my way. I could never cheat on my Amy because I was raised on the fact that cheating is one of the worst things you could ever do to someone. None to mention I don't think anyone can touch me and have my body respond to them the way it responds to her touch.

"I usually am babe." I purred "Enough about that now it's Saraya time and I've been traveling the world nonstop for two months. And quite frankly I've been craving your touch since the day I had to leave. Do you have any idea how long two months feels when you have so much pent up sexual energy and the only person who can release you is halfway across the country?" I asked in a low voice.

"I think I have a clue."

"Well then what are you waiting for?" That was all it took for her to attach her lips to mine. We've been together long enough for me to know that I usually have to be first to make a move, but this time she wasted no time unhooking my bra and tossing it to the side. The next thing I know I can feel her tongue aggressively flicking over my sensitive bud. "Mmmmm Amy." I purred trying not to lose my shit right now. My body feels so tingly because it recognizes whose mouth is currently sucking on my body. I love getting intimate with her because she knows I like it rough because she has a tight grip on my left hip with her other hand squeezing my right breast and her teeth are biting on my left. This feeling alone is damn near orgasmic to me it's been too long since I've felt her on me and I just want to marvel in her beauty. God I don't know what it is but when she detached herself from my nipple a slight feeling of sadness washed over me and my body longs for her skin on mine. I've never met anyone who makes me feel this way and I love it.

"Raya?" She spoke as she began to nibble on my ear. She does that all the time and it always sends shivers down my spine.

"Hmm?"

"I just want you to know that I think you are so beautiful. I know I don't say it often but you mean a lot to me." Hearing those words were like a breath of fresh air because it's what I needed to hear. That she still wants me and she cares for me. It was only natural that I pressed my lips to hers in the most loving way I could. I'm so consumed with emotions that I ran my fingers along her spine, until I got to her bra and unhooked it.

When I did that I climbed on top of her hips careful not to break our kiss. This is probably one of my favorite feelings right here. When I sit on her lap she always sits up so she is eye level to my breast and she usually does what she wants to me from there. But it's just I love the feeling of her breast pressed up against my abdomen. I don't know why but it's almost like she's unintentionally teasing me. Right now that's what's happening except her nails are dragging down my back probably leaving a pattern on it.

"Mmmm fuck!" I groaned running my hands through her brown tresses. She let out a moan herself sending vibrations all through out my body. We haven't even been doing this for ten minutes yet and I can already feel my orgasm coming soon. That's the affect she has on me she knows how to drive me crazy without even having to touch me for real. It's happened before to me with her and so now she can sense when it's about to happen, which is why she pulled away.

"Don't you dare cum yet I'm not done with you!" She growled tossing me off her. I love it when she gets like this especially when we get to this point. She then got off the bed and walked over to the closet where we keep all our "funtime friends". I never know which one she's going to use because she always switches it up each time. When we get to this part I like to try and make her angry because the madder she is the harder she fucks me and I'm in need of a real good pounding.

"God hurry up you bloody idiot I don't have all day. I have better things to do later and right now you're wasting my time." I spat trying to get her mad or annoyed. I don't have anything better to do later I just need her to believe that for the time being. I heard her let out a small growl as she disappeared somewhere in the darkness of the room. "I swear if you don't hurry up I'm going to finish myself off without you."

"You really gotta watch your fucking mouth before it gets you into trouble." She warned coming up to the side of the bed. That was like music to my ears because I know she's getting ready to punish me and it's only making me wetter by the second. She then grabbed me by the hair pulling me off the bed and down onto my knees. "Suck." She spoke pushing her strap-on in my mouth. When she gets like this everything from here on out is pretty much out of my control. So without hesitation I began to bob my head on her phallic member. I decided to go slow because I know she gets a kick watching me take her into my mouth like this. She especially likes it when I look up at her whilst I'm doing it. "Damn you look so sexy like this babe. I can't wait to fuck your sweet ass." She moaned out sending chills down my spine. She is so damn sexy when she talks like this to me. Without warning she grabbed a handful of my hair and began to fuck my mouth at a crazy fast pace, making sure to shove as much as she could in my mouth. Anyone else they'd be pretty upset about it but I enjoy being gagged like this. "Mmm yeah you like that don't you?" All I could do was let out a moan earning me a chuckle. "That's what I thought. Come here." She then pulled out of my mouth and pulled me up to meet her lips. This kiss was hard and rough just how I like it. What intensified it was the fact that I can feel her poking around on my wanting center.

Suddenly she pulled away and violently pushed me backwards causing me to fall on the bed. We've done this enough times for me to know that she likes it when I get on my hands and knees and wiggle my butt taunting her. So after taking off my panties and tossing them to the side I did just that.

"Well are you going to teach me a lesson or not? Because right now I still think you're doing a shit job." I teased getting her to let out a dry laugh.

"You just keep talking all that garbage I'll make you eat those words!"

"Oh yeah well then why don't you pro-" Before I could even finish she rammed into me without a warning. "Ugh fuck!" I yelled being she's just thrusting into me not giving me a chance to adjust. Only hard, deep, and fast strokes... Exactly how I like it.

"Class is in session now you whore." She gritted through her teeth. Anything else she might have said after that I didn't catch. I can't focus on anything else other than how good she is making me feel, and the way she is stretching me out right now. The way her body is ramming into mine at this pace I'm sure my bum is going to be a bright red come morning. I don't know how she does it but with every thrust she hits my g-spot and it's driving me crazy. I can't even see straight right now, it's been so long since I've had a proper fucking that I can feel my climax slowly creeping up. "Yeah not such a smart ass anymore now that there's a dick in ya?" She gloated slapping my ass as she's still pounding into me. Damn she knows just how to please me I missed this.

"Fuck baby More!" I moaned throwing my hips back to meet her thrusts. I can't get enough of her right now I need more. The way she's pulling my hair and digging her nails into my hip are giving me that euphoria that I miss when I'm away from her. "Agh I'm so close." To that she stopped moving and pulled out completely. I couldn't help but let out a saddened moan.

"Ride me. I wanna watch you cum." She spoke softly as she laid on her back. It's things like that that made me fall for her in the first place. She'll fuck the life out of me then passionately make me cum. I love it. So I slowly straddled her hips and leaned down to kiss her.

"I love you." I murmured breathlessly pulling out of our kiss. I know it's probably a horrible time to admit that but I'm so overwhelmed with feelings right now that I couldn't help myself. She kissed my forehead and brushed the hair out of my face.

"Prove it Saraya. Make love to me." She spoke in my ear. That was all I needed to want to position myself over the plastic member and slowly lower myself down on her. I like riding her because I can feel more of her inside of me and the deeper she is the more connected we are. With that I began to slowly move up and down making sure to accommodate as much of her as I could. Now that I'm over my rage I can actually feel just how well it fills me up and it makes me want more. It wasn't until she placed her hands on my hips that I decided to go a little faster.

"Gah you feel so good." I purred looking her directly in her eyes. She didn't say anything but press her lips to mine in a more loving manner. I then felt her begin to move her hips to meet my thrust. And we both began to move in a rhythmic motion. I am absolutely loving this right now I feel so much better knowing she knows how I feel about her. I don't need to hear her say it back right now because I know she does. What I love most about this is the way she is playing with my breast as they move around in her face. But to be honest I'm so over going slow I like it rough, soft isn't really my thing. So with that I pecked her on the lips and I properly sat up. Placing my hands on her chest for support I began to ride her faster to my liking. She just put her hands on my hips and let out a sexy moan. After a while I began to get to that euphoric state I enter right before I cum.

"Babe?"

"Hmm?" I answered speeding up my motions putting my weight on it to get as much pleasure as I could. Then she started the rub her thumb over my clit and it took my pleasure to a whole new level. "Amy I'm so close!" I whined out relaxing my body to succumb to the pleasure she's dealing out to me.

"I want you to cum all over me." She purred in a very sexy low voice. "Can you do that for me? Cum all over me?" All I could do was nod I can't get out any words. I'm so close it's taking away my ability to speak. "Then do it!" Then she pinched my clit and that's all it took to send me over the edge. I felt my walls tighten around her and my legs feel like jelly. She's still thrusting into me letting me ride out my orgasm. Then I just collapsed on top of her. "Good girl." She cooed before brushing my hair behind my ear and planting a soft kiss on my cheek. And then we just laid there for another minute so I can regain my composure. "Don't go to sleep yet babe I'm not done yet." She spoke in my ear pushing me off her and pulling out of me. Ideally I'd complain but I'm too tired to, so I just laid there as she was off doing whatever it is she's doing. I have to admit this by far has been the best welcome home present she's ever given me. I mean we usually always have welcome home sex but this one was different. This time we made love and just thinking about it has me grinning from ear to ear. I then felt her climb back in bed only she climbed up to my legs and spread them. Without a word she began to lick my wet center.

"Fuck Amy!" I groaned out at the sudden sensation. She just wrapped her arms around my legs holding them down leaving me completely open to her discretion. This is another pro to having a cougar girlfriend is that she knows exactly what she's doing and she knows exactly what to do to drive me wild. I can already feel my second climax approaching because my clit is still sensitive from my last one. "Agh babe!" I moaned. "So close." That was all the motivation she needed to tighten her grip on my legs and pull me closer into her. Fuck her tongue is like magic working me up for the grand finale. The way she's flicking her tongue over my clit is sending vibrations all throughout my body and I'm only seconds away from cumming. "Am- fuck! Amy!" I screamed as I exploded into her mouth. I officially can't feel my legs because they are numb now. Now she's placing soft kisses on my body as she slowly makes her way up to my face.

"I love you too Raya." She spoke before pressing her lips to mine. This perhaps is the best night I've had in a while. I had to give this kiss everything I have left to give.

"I love you so much babe." She just pecked me on the lips before moving the blanket so we were both underneath it.

"I know baby now get some rest. You had a long flight today." She cooed pulling me close to her. Naturally I cuddled into her frame this has been a perfect night.

 **The next morning**

It's always a good feeling waking up in your own bed after traveling from hotel to hotel for months at a time. Even better when I had a night like last night. Gah she said it! She told me she loves me and I'm floating on cloud nine right now. Speaking of her where'd she go because she isn't lying next to me anymore. With that in mind I got out of bed and put on my robe again. Surveying our room I noticed that there aren't any clothes on the floor. I couldn't help but to smile knowing she must have picked them up. She can sometimes be very ocd about how clean the house is. Anyway I opened the door to our room and I was instantly hit with the sweet smell of coffee. So I followed the scent down the steps and into the kitchen.

When I got there I had to stop and admire her figure. She's wearing a pair of black short shorts and a bright pink wife beater. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and it's giving me a good view of her tattoos that are on her shoulders. I love those tattoos, I've traced the lines and shapes in them so many times, and I know every tint, shade, and gradation in both of them. And the way the sun is shining through the window gives her this ethereal glow. Seeing that made me fall in love with her all over again.

"You just gonna stand there or are you going to come give me a kiss?" She spoke not turning to look at me. Hearing her say that got me to grin.

"Sorry I got lost in a beautiful sight." I smirked walking up to her and wrapping my arms around her waist. "Good morning baby." I then proceeded to tenderly kiss her.

"Mmm good morning. Did you sleep well?" She smirked cockily.

"Yes I did! I had my world rocked by a WWE hall of famer, who just so happens to be a former four time Women's Champion. Then I got to fall asleep in the arms of the love of my life. So I had a wonderful sleep might I say." I purred thinking back on last night.

"Well then I guess you're welcome. Anyway I made you some coffee just the way you like it. I was going to make you breakfast in bed to make up for not paying enough attention to you, but you woke up before I could even finish toasting your toast." She murmured holding up a mug full with coffee.

"Thank you." I smiled lightly. On the outside I'm calm about this, but on the inside I'm attacking her with my love. I can't even remember the last time she made me breakfast in bed. When we first started to talk and I'd come visit her on my days off I would spend the night sometimes. She use to always bring me breakfast in bed, but she stopped once we started to really get serious. So hearing her say that makes me almost want to cry with joy. "If you want I can go back upstairs and go back to sleep."

"No sweetie there's no point you're already down here. I'm almost done here anyway so go grab a seat and we'll eat together. That sound like a deal?" She asked looking at me in a questioning manner. I just chucked and sipped my coffee.

"As tempting as that sounds I don't exactly want to sit on a hard chair because thanks to you my bum hurts." I smirked being my bum is still tingly from last night. That got her to smile widely before kissing me.

"Well you didn't seem to mind it last night. You know you love it and would gladly do it again right now if I offered." She growled looking me in the eyes. I love it when she growls like that.

"Well if you promise to give it to me the way you did last night, I will bend over right now and we'll do it here in the kitchen." I challenged. I'm down for round two of she wants. All that did was earn me a chuckle and a kiss.

"I bet you would. But I can't because I have to go pick up our furry children from the groomers in a bit." Crap I so forgot about them, no wonder it was so quiet all night long.

"Well that explains my peaceful sleep last night. I was wondering why the bed felt so spacious when we were cuddling." When we go to sleep the dogs usually sleep with us in the bed and take up almost half the bed.

"I know it's a lot more quiet with them gone. Now I miss them. Anyway here is your plate." She then handed me a plate that had some fruit and toast on it.

"Thank you." I grinned taking the plate from her. "You're the best girlfriend I could ever ask for and I love you." I stated proudly.

"Love you too Babe." From there we ate breakfast on the couch while watching Maury. It's our favorite show to watch together because we like betting on who the baby belongs to. There's never a dull moment when watching that show, plus Jerry Springer comes on right afterwards. So we probably spent our whole morning snuggled up on the couch watching reality talk shows. Sure it's a bit cliche but that's just our thing. I could honestly sit here with her on this couch for the rest of my life. Especially because I know that we'll probably do this all again later tonight... Only this time it's going to be my turn to play teacher. Our relationship is weird but I wouldn't change it for the world.

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 **In my defense I when I wrote that smut scene I had just woke up, I was slightly hungover, coming down from a high, and apparently very horny. So mix them all together and this happened. I'm not sure how I managed to write that either but I did and I have no regrets. I mean come on you can't tell me that you didn't find this kinda cute. Like if you think about it in real life Lita is like a good 17 or 18 years older than Paige. Just knowing that fact makes this story so much more cute because in a way it's about them overcoming that age gap. Moral of the story love has no age limit. I dunno I just thought it'd be fun to play around with that because of all the Femslash stories I've read none of them deal with two women who are so far apart age wise. Plus it's always split up by generation, so it's the newer Divas with newer divas. Then the older Divas with older Divas, never a older Diva and a newer Diva. So I figured I'd go on ahead and cross that boundary here too.**

 **Anywhore if this is your first CallMeJoz story well congrats on popping ur Joz cherry, I'm glad we could share that moment. Be sure to go check out my other stories or DM me any Femslash pairings you want to see and I might just do it. I'm going to go land shark in my backyard. Go visit my profile for the full details of how this story came to be. Stars need darkness to shine #fcukitup ~Joz**


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